Following His Heart
Katy Hart
FRT/FRM
B/G
Spoilers: Up to Flooded, but kinda AU
Disclaimers: Joss and them own all; I’m just borrowing for fun.
Distribution: You want it? Really? Just ask.
Feedback: equals happy muse. Happy muse equals more stories.
A/N Part 1: Inspiration comes from all kinds of weird places. For this story it came from the quote in the epigraph. Want to know about the book? Feel free to ask, I love to share.
A/N Part 2: All my fic up to now has been, while not angst free, at least on the happier side of the B/G relationship. But as soon as I started writing this I knew it was headed for Angstville, consider yourself warned. ~~~~flashback~~~~
Dedication: To Antenna, for the beta. She insisted it wasn’t angsty enough, so she got more. <g> To the entire B/G community for making me feel welcome.
It was one thing to know your heart, another thing to admit it.
And something altogether different to allow yourself to follow it.
R.A.
Salvatore, The Thousand Orcs
--------------------------------------------------------------
He’d forgotten how bright the sun was in
Rupert Giles had long known what was in his heart. A deep and abiding love for his Slayer, Buffy Summers. From the moment she had set foot in the library, his heart had been hers. He smiled fondly at the memory. She had been so flippant about her destiny, so defiant to him. It was part of what had captured him, her strength to do what she wanted, no matter the consequences. It was what made her the most successful Slayer in history.
He had allowed himself to admit this desire after putting her through the hell of the Cruciamentum. A father’s love indeed! He held onto to that realization like a drowning man would a life preserver. Though he’d allowed Olivia into his life for a brief period, she would never have his heart. Even Jenny had been unable to have all of his love. So he suffered the comments of the blond temptress who continued to ignore him, kept him out of her life.
Of course he had encouraged her to do so. No need to shackle
her to a pitiful old man when she could have a strapping young soldier. He
placed walls around his fragile heart, knowing it was for the best. She would
have the normal life she so desperately craved. He’d even decided to return to
Then all hell broke loose. Or more specifically a hellgod.
He stood by her side, amazed she had confided in him about the true nature of
Dawn. It had killed him to tell her that her “sister” would have to die. In
that she was defiant to the end. How his heart had screamed as she fell from
the tower. He would never know how he had managed to carry her body home,
arrange for a quiet burial. He had left shortly afterward, getting her friends
to look after Dawn. He couldn’t stay, he had gotten her killed, wasn’t that
what a Watcher was for? Now a phone call from
~~~”Giles, is that you?”
“
“Buffy’s back.”
He’d nearly dropped his teacup at her admission. “What did you say?”
“Buffy’s back, we performed a resurrection spell. We thought she might be in a hell dimension, y’know with the portal and all. And we need her here Giles; we can’t keep up with the demons. She needs you Giles. She won’t tell us anything, just slays and carries on as if nothing happened. I think she’s denying where she was. Can you come?”
“I’ll think about it
“Think fast, Giles. Call me if you decide.”~~~~~~~~
Rupert Giles knew his heart, admitted it freely to himself. Did he dare take that last step and follow it? When he picked up the phone to make plane reservations, he knew he would. And now he was here, he thought. What would he say, how would he react? Was she really in a hell dimension, like Angel had been? Could he really help her? He wanted to tell her right off, but would it scare her. Should he go slowly? So many questions, too little time to answer them all.
When the taxi arrived at
“I’ll get it,” he heard Dawn yell.
As she flung open the door she saw him and her eyes went wide. Soon he was caught in her all encompassing hug. She had grown, seemed to be taller that Buffy.
“Ohmygodyoucameyou’reback,” she exclaimed without taking a breath.
He merely smiled and hugged her back. How he had missed her teenage exuberance. Granted she had only really been a teen for a year now, but he had memories of her, and he missed her easy smile. She let him into the house. He wondered were everyone was.
“Hey Dawnie, who was it? Giles! You’re here!”
“Giles!” came the collective shout from the rest of them.
Anya was as tactful as ever, wanting to know if he wanted the shop back. He
assured her he would still be a silent partner. Xander still insisted on
calling him G-man. The boy had grown so well into a man; Giles felt a surge of
pride knowing he had helped in this transformation.
Buffy was in the corner, putting away some paperwork. She
turned at the sound of his name. Her eyes were tired. She had been through so
much and was asked yet again to defend the world. She was denied her peace to
protect against the Hellmouth. She was too thin. He would have to remedy that
soon. He wanted so badly to tell her everything, grab this second chance at
happiness. Their eyes connected and he saw a spark of the old, happy Buffy. It
did his heart wonders to know he had put it there. He crossed the room as she
did. They met halfway for a hug that nearly crushed his ribs. She felt so right
in his arms. So small a thing to be ridding the world of evil day after day. He
hadn’t realized until now that he hadn’t believed
“Giles, you’re here,” she whispered.
“Where else would I be Buffy?”
She started to cry against his chest. He pulled her to the
couch.
“C’mon guys, lets give them some space. Dawn, you can come with Tara and me to the movies. Giles, talk to her, find out what wrong, please? We’ll bring Dawn back later.”
He nodded absently, reaching for the cup, but unable to do so. Buffy wouldn’t budge. He held her as she cried, stroking her back, murmuring nonsense words. She fit so well in his arms. He would move mountains to help her. She had held his heart for so long, he would die for her. As the sobs lessened he pulled her back, belatedly offering his handkerchief.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“You were gone. I came back and you were gone,” she sniffled.
“You died Buffy. I couldn’t stay too many memories. But I’m here now and I’m not leaving again.” He hoped this was an accurate statement.
“I need you Giles. I can’t do this without you.”
Fresh tears threatened to fall as they both remembered when she had first told him that. He winced inwardly at the thought of her knocking him out before holding onto him as if he was the last person on earth.
“You won’t have to love. Remind me to have a talk with
“She’d like that, they all missed you. They’ve been telling me how they managed. Mom left us the Gallery, so the money from that has helped. I’m thinking of selling it, I don’t know how to run a business.”
“I’ll help you in anyway I can with that.”
“That would be good. Will and Tara both got part time jobs. Dawn’s been babysitting. Anya and Xander have been pitching in some. Even Spike hired himself out as a bouncer or something. The mortgage was paid off with mom’s life insurance, thank God.”
“You have amazing friends Buffy.”
“Yeah, Will even fixed the Buffybot to do patrols. But that’s why they brought me back. I guess the Hellmouth knows the difference between the real Slayer and a fake.”
“How so?”
She got up from the couch, pacing.
“Too many demons. They started flooding in from everywhere, almost as if they knew. They were out in force the night I came back. A horde of them destroyed the ‘bot. Do you know how creepy it was to see my head detached from my body?”
“Buffy…”
“Nah, s’okay, Giles. I’m dealing”
“Are you really Buffy?
“Yeah, I need my Watcher back.”
“No,” he said, standing up. He stopped her pacing, placing his hands on her shoulders. He forced her to look him in the eye. “It’s more than that, I can see it. What are you holding back Buffy?”
She crumbled under his gaze. She wrapped herself close to him again, tears flowing freely.
“I was in Heaven, Giles. They took me from Heaven.”
He held her close, too stunned for words. It made sense of course. Where else would a Slayer go? Certainly not a hell dimension, how could he have thought that? How could any of them have thought that? But here she was, back on the Hellmouth, back to a hell all her own. He tried to guide her to the couch, but she collapsed to the floor, taking him with her.
“Do they know?”
“No, they can never know, Giles. It would kill them. They needed me, the world needs me.”
“But to what end Buffy? You shouldn’t have to be the Slayer anymore. You’ve died twice for God’s sake!”
“Because Faith is in jail and no new Slayer was called when I died. Will was big with the research. The Slayer line is no longer connected to me hasn’t been since Kendra was called. The whole two Slayers thing was a fluke. But I’m still the Slayer, so here I am doing my duty as the Chosen One.”
“But you shouldn’t have to be, Buffy. Haven’t you done enough?”
“Angry much? No I haven’t, Giles. The Hellmouth is still open and as long as it draws evil to it, I have to be here to stop it. Weren’t you the one with the whole destiny spiel that first day in the library?”
“Yes, but I’ve changed, you’ve changed, circumstances have changed. You’ve served your time, Buffy. I’ve done my duty as a Watcher, gotten my Slayer killed, twice! Enough is enough. You deserve peace, happiness, the normal life you were so desperate for that first day!”
“Why Giles? Why are you so gung ho, especially now?”
“Because I’m in love with you, you silly chit!” he roared.
Silence followed his echoing statement. He had taken that last step and followed his heart. He hadn’t meant to say it in this way. But she could be so infuriating at times. There was no taking it back. Neither knew what to say. Buffy just sat there. He worried that she would hate him; turn away with one of her patented ‘ewwws’. He started to get up, ready to leave. She put her hand on his arm.
“Took you long enough.”
Now it was his turn to be stunned. A small twinkle appeared in her eyes and a smile played across her lips.
“What did you say?” he stammered.
“I said it took you long enough. Of course it took me a while to realize it too. When we went on that vision quest, the First Slayer said I was full of love. But that I was afraid to love for fear of losing it.”
Giles remembered the quest very well and her mocking of the sacred ritual.
“At first I thought she was talking about Dawn. Then I walked back to you. There you were in that magic circle, waiting for me. That look on your face when you saw me, that’s when I knew you loved me. That’s when I started to realize that my feelings for you were changing. Course if wasn’t until I was plunging to my death that it clicked. I love you Rupert Giles, all it took was me dying to get it.”
She smiled at him, a bit of the old Buffy shining through. It took a moment for everything she said to sink in. She loved him. It was everything he hoped for, all his dreams come true. He reached out to touch her cheek. Her hand covered his and pulled him close. As he leaned in to kiss her his heart was beating erratically in his chest. She closed her eyes; she’d been waiting for this moment.
It was soft and sweet, gentle and questioning. He pulled her into his lap, wanting her closer. She wrapped her legs around him, arms draped over his shoulders. His tongue begged entrance and she opened for him. Passionate, burning, the kiss seemed endless. When they broke apart, they regarded each other with wonder.
“Wow,” Buffy said finally. “I should have told you sooner.”
“Too late to go back now. I have loved you for a long time Buffy. Now I know you feel the same way, I won’t be going anywhere.”
“Good to know,” she chuckled. “A Slayer needs her Watcher, especially now.”
He scowled, moving her back to the floor. She frowned at the loss of contact.
“I meant what I said earlier. You really shouldn’t have to be doing this. You are the longest lived Slayer, you deserve to retire.”
“But unless Faith dies and another Slayer is called, it ain’t happening.”
“I’ve been thinking about it, while I was in
“Giles no! We can’t kill Faith; she’s been working so hard towards her redemption. And what would I do without being the Slayer?”
“Finish college, find out where we stand, get married, have children, grow old.”
“Being the Slayer is who I am, Giles. And Faith, I know I hated her for a long time, but….wait, did you say married?” she looked at him.
“Took you long enough,” he smiled, throwing her words back at her.
“We just found out we love each other and you’re talking marriage?”
“Buffy, I thought about it for so very long, I never imagined I would have that chance with you. But yes, that’s what I want. I want to marry you, have children with you, and grow old with you. That’s why I want you to retire, so you can have that, so we can have that.”
He took her hand in his, his eyes pleading with hers.
“You want to marry me?” she whispered.
“More than anything. Would you Buffy? Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”
It was a step he was willing to take. He had followed his heart this far, why not further. She didn’t deserve him, didn’t deserve his love. But if the Fates were allowing her this chance at happiness, who was she to let it go?
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” she said, tears slipping down her cheek.
He wiped away the tear with his thumb, kissing her gently. He pulled off his onyx pinky ring and slipped it on her finger.
“Just for now, I’ll get you something better later.”
“I don’t need anything else. It’s yours so that makes it the best.”
He smiled at her logic before kissing him again. She sighed against his mouth before pulling back and looking at him.
“So, tell me about this ritual.”
They got married in the backyard a month later. The Scoobies had been overjoyed. They’d all known the couple belonged together. It was a small ceremony held in the evening so Spike and Angel could attend. Both vampires knew in their undead hearts Giles could give her everything they could not.
Angel had arranged a temporary release for Faith to attend. When
they filled the
Two months later, when the Council found themselves with three active Slayers, they agreed to the ritual for Buffy. She would slowly lose her powers, but not before she could help the new Slayer adjust to living on the Hellmouth. She could now live her normal life.
Which is how the Scoobies ended up at Sunnydale Memorial
nine months after that. Xander and Anya had a grand wedding, demons and the
Harris clan aside.
“Shouldn’t they be out by now?” Xander asked, pacing.
“They come when they come. Babies take a long time to be
born, especially first babies and Buffy’s having twins,”
“Do stop pacin’ Harris, you’ll wear a hole in the floor,” Spike snarled. “‘sides which, you’re just worried cause it’ll be your turn soon enough.”
Anya sat calmly reading a magazine, her hand rubbing her pregnant belly.
“Yeah but we’re only having one. Can you imagine having twins? They’re gonna be the kids of an ex-Watcher and an ex-Slayer. Think they’ll be special?”
“They’ll be special regardless, because they’re Summer Gileses.” Dawn pronounced.
“Quite right,” came the familiar tenor.
“Giles!” they all cried, jumping up.
“So tell us, how’s Buffy?”
“She’s fine, she’s wonderful,” he smiled. “You can come and see them for yourselves.”
The gang all followed and crowded around the bed. Buffy looked tired but radiant.
“Hi guys,” she said. “Meet the youngest members of the Scooby gang.”
She cradled a baby in each arm. Giles walked over and picked one up gently. The love surrounding them was plain for all to see.
“So what’d you name ‘em?” Spike asked.
“Well it took a while to decide, but I think you’ll like them. For middle names we chose mom’s and Giles’ dad’s names. For first names we went with Scoobies gone, but not forgotten. This is Tara Joy,” she pointed to the babe in her arms. “And that is Daniel John,” she indicated the babe in Giles’ arms.
“They’d be honored, I’m honored.”
“I know, Will, maybe one day Oz will show up to meet his name sake.”
“Well he’d have a lot to answer for if he does,” Spike growled.
Everyone shot him a glare.
“What? Just trying to protect Red, she’s been through enough heartbreak as it is; don’t need wolfie causing any more.”
Buffy was amused at his devotion to her friend. Giles wondered if he’d ever truly loved Buffy. Both agreed the witch and the vampire knew what they were doing and decided not to interfere, letting them find their own happiness.
“So does this mean we have to name our baby after someone here?” Anya asked, diffusing the tension.
“No An, it doesn’t. It’s just sometimes nice to do something like that,” her husband replied.
“Oh good, I really didn’t want to name our son Rupert or Spike, no offense.”
Everyone laughed, taking no offense whatsoever. The Scoobies soon left to go home, Dawn staying with the Harris’ for the night. The twins were sleeping in their bassinets, next to the bed.
“They’re beautiful love,” Giles said, kissing the top of her head.
“And they’re ours. I like the sound of that, ours.”
“Well they’re yours for three o’clock feedings.”
“Giles!” she hit him playfully.
“Kidding. I love you, Buffy.”
“And I love you, Rupert.”
They kissed gently, holding onto one another as it turned more passionate. Just then one of the twins started crying, soon followed by the other. Buffy and Giles separated sighing.
“Well you did want normal,” he said, handing her
“I know, and I couldn’t be happier.”