Secrets and Swords
Katy Hart
secondalto@yahoo.com
B/G
FRT
Spoilers: Set in season six, definitely before OMWF, so let’s say everything up to then, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns all, but if he’d like to give it to me, I wouldn’t say no. I also do not own The Princess Bride, which is quoted here; I’m just a huge fan.
A/N; I came up with this after spending a Saturday watching The Princess Bride and The Man in the Iron Mask. Made me think of Giles and sword fighting. I wanted more swashbuckling, but he wanted to talk. Guess who won (I can’t resist the accent.)
Dedication: To two people responsible for my writing B/G fic. Gileswench, who sparked my muse with a mini challenge and whose fiction I continually read for inspiration. May I be half the writer she is. And to Cindy B, who first responded to my first B/G fic. She is the living proof that feedback feeds the muse! *smiles* She also betaed this story, catching a major mistake, thanks and I hope you like the fix!!!
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The clang of metal on metal echoed from the training room.
Occasionally a muffled curse was heard. Anya ignored it all as she inventoried
a shelf, noting she needed to order more eye of newt. The bell over the door chimed
and she looked up excitedly. It was only
“Buffy an’ Giles training?”
“Yeah, swords today. Giles read about a possible demon convergence that requires swords to be used,” Anya replied, not looking up.
“But, Buffy, not really been into the slaying lately. She’s been all sulky and stuff.”
“Yes, but Giles went to her house and brought her here. There was a lot of shouting, it scared the customers. Something about sacred duty and all that. I tried not to listen, but I could hear them at the other end of the shop. Giles reminded Buffy that she didn’t give up so easily the first time she died. Then there were the clangy sounds. They’ve been at it for almost two hours now.”
“Buffy!”
Giles dropped his sword and grabbed Buffy’s arm. The cut wasn’t deep, wouldn’t need stitches.
“It’s okay Wills, no big. What’s a cut when you’ve died twice?”
“Buffy…..”
“I assume there was a reason for your interruption
“I just wanted to talk to you. About stuff,” her voice was nearly inaudible as she hung her head, shuffling her feet.
“Well now is not the time,” he stated, giving her a Ripperesque glare as he dug into the kit.
“I’ll come back later,” the red head replied, turning around, leaving before the tears could fall.
“Angry much? She just wanted to talk. She feels bad enough without you piling on more guilt. There was talk this morning of cookies and you know she only bakes to apologize,” Buffy pointed out.
“Yes, well, maybe next time she’ll think twice before she attempts to raise the dead,” he swabbed her cut a little too hard, realizing what he’d said. “Not that bringing you back was bad.”
“It’s okay Giles. She was only thinking of me. They all were. They thought I was in Hell….” She babbled before closing her mouth quickly.
He stopped in mid swab, catching her eyes with his. Before she dropped her head he saw sadness in those green depths. The same sadness that led him to drag her here, hoping that fighting would loose some emotion on her part.
“Buffy…you weren’t in Hell, were you?”
“No,” came the small tremulous whisper. “I think… I think I was in Heaven.”
Giles was shocked for an instant before collecting himself and pulling out a bandage for her arm.
“Of course you were. You’re the Slayer. Where else would you have gone after averting, how many apocalypses is it?”
“Six, I think,” she said, a small smile playing across her lips.
“Is that why you’ve been moping around, not training, not patrolling, acting as if the rest of the world doesn’t matter?”
“I guess. The others don’t know. Giles, I don’t want them to know. It’s too hard being back, every day is full of pain. I want to die again, but Dawn needs me, the world needs me.”
“Life is painful Buffy. But it’s also full of joy. That’s why you live, why you try to move past the pain to get to the joy. You told Dawn to live, told us to live,” he remembered the pain of trying to live all to well.
“How can I, knowing where I was! It was peaceful there, I was loved there” she shouted back, trying to ignore the pain in her arm as she pulled away.
“There are people who love you here Buffy! Dawn,
“What about you Giles?”
“My feelings are besides the point,” he replied, grabbing her arm back, wrapping the bandage around and around.
She placed a hand on his, stopping him. She looked into his eyes, emotions swirling in them Pain, anger, grief. A tear slipped out, rolling down his cheek. She wiped it away tenderly.
“That day at the factory, when you went after Angel, that was the only time I ever saw you cry for her. It was the only time I’ve ever see you cry. And then it wasn’t until I knocked you senseless. Did you cry any more after that?
“I did my mourning in private.”
“Did you cry for me Giles? Did you spare a few tears for the reckless slayer who sacrificed herself for her fake sister?” Anger crept back into her voice.
“Buffy….”he choked, he finished the bandage before continuing. “I mourned deeply for you Buffy. Every night you were gone, I mourned, dreaming of ways to stop you, prevent you from dying. But I’m never fast or clever enough.”
He stepped away from her, needing to put distance between them. As he turned to put away the med kit, she caught his arm. She felt him tremble under her touch. What was he holding back?
“You never answered my question. How do you feel about me Giles?”
“I care very deeply about you Buffy.”
“There’s more, isn’t there avoidy guy. I saw it in your eyes; I felt it when you trembled. How. Do. You. Feel?”
Her emerald gaze pierced through him. It crumbled the walls he’d so carefully built around his heart. What could it hurt? He would risk a broken heart just to let her know his true feelings.
“I love you Buffy.”
“For how long?” she gave him the stare that all the Summer’s women had perfected.
“You aren’t shocked? No ewww?”
“I’ve suspected for a while. When Traver’s accused you of having a father’s love for me, I saw your face. It was only for an instant, but I could tell he was wrong. Is that when it happened? Is that when you fell in love with me?” she held his hand tightly,
He sighed. Time to spill all. He led them to the couch, sitting next to her.
“I’ve always felt something for you Buffy. From the moment you came bouncing into my life. You were so vivacious, so eager to have a normal life. I tried to dismiss it as a father’s love, you were only sixteen. As I watched you grow, you constantly surprised me. Challenged me at every corner, even death didn’t stop you,” he reminded.
“Well, I had to prove you wrong, didn’t I?” she chuckled.
“Indeed. I was torn when you turned eighteen. I wanted to tell you countless times. You were so angry with me. Quentin’s words only solidified what I felt. But, alas, you would never feel that way about me. There was Angel, and Riley. And if I remember correctly I was ‘old and gross’.”
“I was upset. She was standing there in your shirt. You’d gone all Hugh Hefner on me. You’re my Giles, I was jealous!” she whipped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide in panic. “Did I say that out loud?” she squeaked.
“Jealous?” He turned to face her completely. Taking her chin in his hand, he looked deeply into her eyes. “How do you fell about me, Buffy?”
“Well you’re mine, my Giles, my Watcher.”
“No dodging the question. You wouldn’t let me, why would I let you?”
“Okay, so maybe you’re not so old and gross. Faith was right; you are kinda cute, even under all that tweed you wore. But you were my Watcher, always on about sacred duty. Any wonder I tried to ignore any feelings for you? Even after I defied you, after Angelus, after I ran away; you were still here. I wondered why you still cared, why you stayed. Especially after Jenny, you loved her. How could you love me when I got her killed,” she sobbed, leaning against his chest.
He pulled her close, ignoring the fact that she was getting his favorite shirt wet. She was so small, yet so strong.
“Yes, I loved Jenny. I was charmed by her, intrigued by her intellect. It was a new love that might have grown stronger, but it could never hold a candle to what I feel for you. I love you Buffy. I loved you so much that I left Sunnydale; it wasn’t the same without you. But I couldn’t escape my feelings by leaving.”
“How could you love me? I was dead.”
“Death cannot stop true love,” he whispered into her hair.
She stopped shaking in his arms. She pulled back, astonished.
“You know The Princess Bride?”
“Um, yes I do,” he blushed.
“My stuffy, tweedy Watcher is a softy for romance?”
“I’ll have you know I don’t wear tweed anymore,” he replied. She raised an eyebrow. “Much,” he amended. “besides which, the film also has excellent sword fighting scenes and is quite humorous.”
“Ha, softie. Bet you cried at the end,” she taunted.
“That’s besides the point. And you’ve cleverly evaded the question at hand. Your feelings for me,” he prodded.
She shifted, his arms still around her. She’d never felt so safe, so cherished. Angel had never held her this way. It has always been passionate, urgent; never tender or warm, even when they danced at the Prom. And Riley was never big on the touchy feely stuff.
“I don’t know Giles. I’m not sure. Is love supposed to be this scary?”
He smiled, laughter in his eyes. Could she really love him?
“Yes it is Buffy. You did say you were jealous of Olivia, what does that tell you?”
“That I wanted to be the one in your shirt, not her.”
They both stopped short at the revelation. He angled her chin up once more. The raw desire turned her eyes dark green. Her pulse jumped under his thumb. Her breath, short and quick, fanned across his wrist. She wanted to be wearing his shirt.
He lowered his head, hazel eyes still holding hers, looking for a signal to stop. None came. He gave into temptation. The kiss was soft and gentle, tentative and unsure. Her lips were pliant, sweet. She trembled under him. He pulled back, her eyes were half closed, and a sigh escaped her lips.
His lips had been warm, she thought. It was so different from Angel’s literal and Riley’s figurative coldness. Her blood sang as they kissed, her heart pressed against her chest. When he moved away, she sighed in protest. Opening her eyes, she saw questions in his.
Moving her arms from around his waist, she caressed his cheek with one hand while the other smoothed away the lines of worry on his forehead. She held his head, answered him by kissing him back.
The shy gentleness turned to more as he pulled her against him. She felt his tongue sweep over her bottom lip. She parted to allow him entrance. He plunged into her warmth, savoring the taste of her. Desire tan through him as she wriggled into his lap. She felt his moan rumble through her.
Neither heard the door open. Dawn gaped at the couple on the couch. She gasped aloud, causing them to break apart, looking guiltily at her. She said nothing, running back out, shouting.
“I’m scarred for life. Buffy. Giles. Kissing. Therapy needed.”
They were speechless, looking at the door, then at each other. They broke into laughter. Buffy leaning her head on his shoulder. They sat there until the humor subsided.
“Guess that takes care of letting everyone know,” she sighed.
“Know what?” he asked. He needed to hear the words.
“Know that we love each other that we’re together.”
“We are?”
“Think I’m letting you go after kissing me senseless? Think again Watcher-mine. I love you, you’re mine and don’t you forget it,” she punctuated the last point with a poke to his shoulder.
“As you wish,” he smiled, kissing her softly. They heard a scuffle outside the door. “Shall we go face the firing squad?”
“I can face anything with you,” she smiled, bouncing off his lap.
She held out her hand to him. He took it gently, kissing it. She smiled again, before standing on tip toe to kiss his cheek.
“I love you Rupert Giles.”
“And I you, Buffy Summers. After you,” he replied, gesturing to the door.
“Lead on MacDuff,” she answered, hooking her arms into his.
Watcher and Slayer walked together to face an uncertain future. But then again, it always had been; only now they were certain of one thing, their love.