Sing, Scoobies, Sing!

B/G, X/A, W/Oz

FRT

Summary: Answer to Gileswench challenge/plot bunny where all the Scoobies can only speak in lyrics, but only lyrics they would know, i.e.: Giles using The Who or Cream

Spoilers: Post Hush but in an AU where I have no Riley, no Spike, Willow and Oz together and I take some liberties with the ending of The Wish (Season 3).

Distribution: You want it? Just ask.

Disclaimer: Joss and a bunch of other people own them; I’m just borrowing for fun.

A/N: I cheated a little, but hopefully there is enough lyric quoting to satisfy everyone. I list songs quoted at the end of the story and I’m willing to defend each choice I made. As for the ending, I wanted to end on B/G smoochies but my muse kept going. Warning, character death implied.

Dedication: To Gileswench,*points* she made me do it! For putting the plot bunny in my muse’s hot little hands, thank you. To Sweetdoggie, for the quick beta, you rock!

Buffy slapped off the buzzing alarm and scrunched her eyes closed at the invading sun. She’d spent the night at the Bronze, celebrating an A on her psych paper with Willow and Xander. It was too sunny, but she had a class to go to. Just another typical day on the Hellmouth.

She glanced over to see her best friend bouncing in from the bathroom. How did she do that? No matter how late she was up the redhead was always bouncy in the mornings even without caffeine. ‘The bitch,’ Buffy thought fondly.

“It’s a beautiful day,” Willow chirped.

Buffy just grumbled before rolling out of bed. She would feel more human after a shower and several cups of coffee. She watched as Willow bounced around humming a Dingoes tune. She was always happier when Oz was in town. Reaching the bathroom uninterrupted, Buffy turned on the hot water full blast. Stepping under the spray she started to hum a tune of her own from that movie she and her mom had watched not long after Angel left.

“Gonna wash that man right outta my hair,” she sang under her breath.

The man in question was stinky Parker Abrams. She smiled at the memory of Cave Buffy bashing him over the head. She was grateful she had overheard those girls at that party. They had been talking about Parker and his escapades with unknowing freshmen girls. Buffy had left the party, glad she had escaped making a fool of herself.

“He’s a smooth operator,” she sighed, “but baby, I got his number.”

She quickly finished up, continuing to hum to herself. As she grabbed her robe her thoughts turned to Giles. She had been visiting him often, wanting to make sure he knew that he was still needed in her life, still her Watcher. She remembered catching him as he returned from a jog, wearing shorts that emphasized his well defined legs. Heading for the dorm room she shook her head sadly, although she was having romantic feelings for him he would never reciprocate. She knew he saw her only as a daughter. Opening the door to her room she saw Willow pacing furiously, tears streaming down her previously happy face.

Buffy wanted to shout, ask her if something was wrong, if Oz was okay, but all that came out was “What’s going on?”

Willow ran into the arms of her best friend. Buffy started to get really worried. She tried to soothe the Wicca with soft words, but all she could do was repeat her question.

“What’s going on?”

Willow broke away, wiping at the tears. “Help, it’s a kind of magic.”

Magic? Buffy thought about what Willow was saying. There were so many questions. Apocalypse? Demon? Breakup? All she could say was, “It’s the end of the world as we know it?”

Willow shook her head. “Help. We need somebody. Help. Not just anybody. Help!”

Giles! Buffy knew he could figure out what was going on, but for some reason she couldn’t find the words to say what she was thinking. She was getting as frustrated as Will. Just then a light bulb went off in her head. She rushed for the closet and flung open the door. Where was it? She dug under some shoes; oh there were those black sling-backs she had been looking for! She set them aside and continued to fling things around. Aha! Found it. She crawled out and brandished her prize in triumph. Her message board from when the Gentlemen had visited.

“Found what you were looking for?” Willow asked, a teary smile appearing on her face as she saw the familiar object.

She dropped to the floor, rummaging under her bed and brandished her own board happily. Both girls started scribbling furiously. They then looked up and turned the slates around.

Buffy’s read, “Why the tears? You and Oz? Hellmouthy stuff? Do we need to get Giles?”

Willow’s said, “I tried to call Oz, but all I could say was ‘hunka hunka burning love and other Elvis stuff. I think it’s a spell. We’re speaking in song lyrics for some reason. We need to get Giles!”

Buffy laughed at Willow’s Elvis obsession, but was relieved that they both agreed a visit to her Watcher was in order. Willow grinned; glad she was on the same wavelength as Buffy. They quickly dresses, message boards once more hung over their necks. Both had agreed in writing that missing classes was of the good until they knew what was happening.

“We’re off to see the Wizard,” Willow sang before bursting into giggles.

“The wonderful Wizard of Oz,” Buffy giggled back.

They linked arms as they left the room. Skipping down the hall, they sang the silly tune, oblivious to their fellow students.

The object of the girl’s quest was puttering around his kitchen, fixing tea and humming ‘Stairway to Heaven’ under his breath. Giles was glad for the quiet morning. Although he missed the rush of preparing for work, there were plenty of things he didn’t miss--- trying to avoid Snyder or the fact that there was a Hellmouth mere feet away from his office, came to mind.

His thoughts, as always, turned to Buffy. He had tried to push her away, but she kept visiting, reinforcing the bond and easy camaraderie they shared. It only made the ache in his heart worse. ‘Your own damn fault old man,’ he thought. ‘That’s what you get for falling in love with you Slayer.’

He sighed gustily and carried his tea to the living room, looking forward to reading the first edition demonology book he’d received in the post yesterday. Just as he was about to sit, he heard a knock at the door. Who on earth could it be? None of the Scoobies surely. Usually they just burst in. He would really have to think about purchasing a deadbolt. He opened the door to see Buffy and Willow standing there, message boards around their necks. He was puzzled, the Gentlemen had been defeated. What was the meaning of this?

“Witchy Woman.”

Willow preened at being called a woman.

“Pretty Woman.”

Buffy looked at him, eyes widening in surprise.

Giles blushed as he realized what he’d said. What on earth had possessed him to say that?

Willow just smiled. “Secret Agent Man,” she giggled.

Buffy chuckled before adding, “Wonderful Wizard.”

Giles looked at them. What was going on here? The girls pushed past him, glancing at him before laughing again. He was about to speak when Willow held up her message board.

‘It’s a spell Giles. At least we hope it is. We’re speaking in song lyrics. As far as we can tell it only affects us.’

“Werewolf in London? Macho man? Barracuda?”

Willow caught the reference to her boyfriend, but Buffy looked confused. Giles motioned them to the living room as he closed the door. He went to his desk, searching for a pad of paper. Finding it, he wrote a note and passed it to them.

‘Oz, Xander, Anya? Are they affected too?’

Willow wrote back: Oz isn’t. He left for a gig after playing a set at the Bronze last night. Haven’t heard from the other two yet.

Buffy got his attention and pointed to her message. ‘As soon as we figured out something was wrong we came to you.’

Just then the couple in question came bursting through the door. Xander was falling all over Anya, looking desperate.

“Crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely. You are always on my mind,” he crooned.

“By D'Hoffyrn s beard! Giles, can you tell me what’s going on here? I go to visit Halfrek, and came back to Xander spouting nauseating country songs. Why are you all looking at me? Did I grow another head or something?”

The three of them were staring, stunned, at the former vengeance demon. She wasn’t speaking in lyrics! Giles scribbled on his pad before spouting something embarrassing. He handed the result to Anya who read it aloud.

“We are all under a spell. It seems only the four of us have been affected. You must have escaped the spell by being out of town.”

“A spell, well that’s a relief. I thought Xander had gone crazy on me. So just the Scoobies? That’s interesting. So who do you know that hates you four enough to put a spell on you?”

Xander had calmed down enough to grab another pad of paper Giles had handy. He looked at Buffy, Willow and Giles. They exchanged glances with him and each other before starting to write furiously. They all held up their answers at the same time.

‘ETHAN”

“Ethan?” Anya read, her brow wrinkling. “Isn’t that the man Xander was telling me about? He cursed your costumes and bespelled some chocolate?”

The four nodded their heads vigorously. Giles wrote another note for Anya to read aloud.

“I can do a locator spell. Take Xander to the magic shop for the ingredients listed below. Willow, get your laptop. If Ethan is hiding in a hotel, we’ll need to know his room number. Buffy and I will stay here and gather weapons. We don’t know if Ethan will have minions guarding him, vampires, demons or something else. ”

“Okay, let’s go Xander,” she bounced to her feet, pulling her boyfriend after her.

“Goodbye to you,” he yelped, waving sheepishly.

Willow wandered after the two, list in hand. She just waved, not wanting to say anything.

Buffy smiled after her friends. She looked at Giles; thinking about what he’d said when he looked at her. ‘Pretty woman.’ She tried to ignore her heartbeat increasing knowing that Giles thought she was pretty. She glanced at the weapons chest and back at him with a questioning look. He nodded and they both got up to scrounge up weapons for anything Ethan might put in their way.

They both knelt in front of the chest, opening it up. As he reached for a long sword, she grabbed for the crossbow next to it. Their hand brushed past each other, heat and electricity jolting up their arms. Pulling back they looked at each other in surprise. Buffy saw a glint of desire in his eyes. Giles saw curiosity in hers. She reached up to touch his cheek. He grabbed it, more heat coursing through them.

“American Woman,” he whispered as he rubbed his thumb over the back over her hand.

She said nothing, just leaning forward to touch her lips to his.

At first it was gentle and soft, but emotions buried too deep for too long clicked into place. The kiss turned deeper, more passionate. Giles pulled her closer, molding her body to his. Buffy draped her arms around his neck, surrendering to her feelings. When oxygen became an issue they pulled apart slowly. Breathing hard they both knew there was no going back to the way things had been. There was so much to say.

“You’ve got me on my knees, begging darling please,” he sang, his voice a soft baritone.

“Can’t stop this thing we started,” she answered.

Then she pointed to her message board. The name of the sorcerer caused a hard glint to appear in Giles’ eye. He brushed a hand across her cheek.

“We can work it out,” he promised before grabbing the sword.

“We will be invincible,” she replied, kissing his cheek and getting the crossbow.

As they lay out stakes and holy water the other Scoobies returned. Xander dangled a bag from his hand; Willow held her laptop and Anya just rolled her eyes, already sick to death of this spell. They cleared off the coffee table, placing a Sunnydale map on the surface. Giles gathered all the ingredients, prepared to do the spell when he remembered. Cursing himself, he saw questioning looks from the others. He got his pad and wrote.

‘I can’t do the spell. I could only say lyrics. Anya will have to do it. Do you know Latin?’

Anya finished reading the note and replies. “Yes, quite well Giles. I was a demon for over eleven hundred years. I’m fluent in many languages. Just write out the instructions so we can find this Ethan person and I can get my non-singing Xander back.”

Giles wrote out the words and the ingredients in order. Moving aside, he let Anya stand over the map. As she sprinkled herbs over the paper, she chanted softly. A blue mist formed over the map, coalescing over one of Sunnydale’s lesser known motels. It was unsurprising that Ethan would choose a seedy place. It was, however; harder to believe that he still hadn’t learned to cast the spell and leave. The gang gathered weapons and headed outside to pile into Giles’ Citroen.

Reaching their destination, Giles handed out a note detailing their plan. Willow, Xander and Anya would stand guard while he and Buffy would confront Ethan. When everyone was in place, Buffy kicked down the door.

Ethan was in the middle of packing, ready to leave town. He looked up quickly when the door crashed open. In the doorway stood his oldest friend and a very angry Slayer.

“‘Allo Ripper. Caught on quicker than I thought this time. Keep your Slayer in line, only I can break the spell,” he warned, backing away.

“Magic Man, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave,” Giles growled.

Buffy just stood there glaring, trying not to kick Ethan’s ass then and there. She was a little surprised at Giles’ words. Was he threatening to kill Ethan?

“You couldn’t kill me Ripper. You couldn’t do it last time, why would you do it now?”

“Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?” Giles sang, starting to advance on his former friend.

“Now, now, if you hurt me I can’t reverse the spell, now can I? And why would I do it when you’d just want to kill me or hand me over to the cops afterward. Where’s my incentive?”

Rage burned through Giles. He wanted nothing more than to beat Ethan to a pulp. He saw Buffy out of the corner of his eye. She was rocking on the balls of her feet, ready to pounce. A quick glance to her and she sprung. A roundhouse kick had Ethan on the floor unconscious. Giles went outside and pantomimed the need for rope. After the mage was tied up and propped against the wall, the Scoobies searched the room for a spell book. After several minutes it was apparent there wasn’t one. Giles reached into his pocket for his notepad.

‘We should go back to my flat. Ethan obviously has the spell memorized. Buffy please help me carry him to the car.’

Buffy grabbed Ethan’s legs whiles Giles grabbed him under the arms. The gang trooped back outside. It was fortunate the motel was in a bad part of town, no one to wonder what was going on. All of a sudden Willow started to giggle. Everyone stared at her. She just giggled more. Buffy put Ethan down and grabbed her friend by the shoulders. Giving her the Buffy version of the ‘resolve face’, she tried to calm Willow down. As the giggles subsided, Buffy arched an eyebrow in question.

Willow just pointed to the Citroen, then to the group and then to Ethan. Everyone groaned. It had been a tight enough squeeze getting to the motel. There was no way to fit Ethan in as well.

“I’ve got it,” Anya said thoughtfully. “Put Ethan in the back, then Giles and Xander go to the apartment. Xander can then drive back for us.”

Giles nodded reluctantly. If Ethan were to regain consciousness, only he or Buffy could deal with him. The gang bundled their prisoner in the car and the men drove off. The girls just sat around quietly, not wanting to say anything. Buffy thought about the kiss and what would happen when Ethan was dealt with. Xander showed up less than fifteen minutes later.

When they got to the apartment, Ethan was tied to a chair and Giles was sprinkling something around it in a circle. When he saw them he motioned to Anya and pointed to his notepad on the table. She read the note and smiled.

“Goody, a protection circle,” she chanted some words as Giles finished the shape.

The circle glowed just as Ethan was coming around.

“What was that all about mate? Thought I told you not to hurt me.”

“Giles never said anything about not hurting you,” Anya pointed out helpfully.

“Didn’t say much of anything, luv. You’re new. Do I know you?”

“It doesn’t matter. Giles wants you to know that you are bound within that circle, unable to do magic until you promise to undo the spell.”

Willow and Xander stood to one side of Ethan while Watcher and Slayer stood directly in front of him.

“And how do you know that? Aren’t exactly the chatty bunch are they,” he motioned to the four with a hand.

Anya held up the note. “We found a way around the spell.”

“So why should I help you? The minute ol’ Ripper can talk normally, I’m toast.”

Anya looked at the note again. “Giles promises that if you undo the spell he will not harm you in any way, nor will Buffy.

Ethan looked at his old mate, eyes meeting. Ripper meant it, his eyes never lied. What did he have to lose?

“Well someone needs to break the circle so I can get on with it.”

Giles leaned down and brushed away part of the circle. Ethan felt the magic lifting. He muttered several lines and a light breeze swirled around the room. Giles quickly restored the circle and everyone looked around. No one wanted to be the first to speak.

“Is it broken, are we okay?” Buffy asked. “Oh!”

“I think that’s a yes,” Xander replied.

“Good,” Giles said, nearing the chair. “Now Ethan…”

“Ripper, you promised not to hurt me…” he sputtered.

“But I never promised anything,” Willow spoke.

She closed her eyes and chanted softly. Smoke swirled around Ethan and the chair.

“What’s this? Ripper, stop her. Ripper!” Ethan screamed as he vanished, leaving ropes and chair behind.

“Whoa. What’s with the magics Will?” Xander asked.

“Yes, where did you send him Willow?” Giles said, picking up the ropes and brushing away the circle.

“Oh, it’s a teleportation spell I’ve been working on for when we meet demons or other non vampire type creatures. I think I sent him to one of the demon dimensions, but I’m not sure. The spell isn’t perfected yet. Sorry?” she smiled sheepishly.

“Willow, you do need to be careful. That was powerful magic you were wielding. Maybe I should start meeting with you. Give you a few pointers,” Giles offered.

“Really? Cool,” she bounced. She glanced at her watch. “Classes are over for the day, guess I should go and find someone to copy notes from. Catch you later,” she grabbed her laptop and was out the door.

“Then we can leave too. Xander you need to explain some of those lyrics to me,” Anya pulled him along, again.

“Sure Ahn, bye guys,” he waved.

The door closed, leaving Watcher and Slayer alone again. Giles started to move the chair when Buffy came up to him.

“We need to talk,” she said softly.

“Um, yes, well, we were both under a spell and…”

She stopped his sputtering by grabbing his shirt and pulling him down for another kiss. As first he hesitated, but as she stood on tip toe and pressed her body against his, he relented. It started soft and gentle, turning deep and passionate, much like the first kiss. When they broke apart he looked at her, unsure of what to do or say.

“Buffy, I…”

“It’s okay Giles. I love you. It just took a while to admit it to myself and to you. I may have to thank Ethan, if he ever turns up again.”

At first he was stunned, she loved him, through what blessed intervention he couldn’t say. Then his heart kicked his brain into gear and he kissed her again before replying.

“I love you too, Buffy, I have for a long time. I just never believed you could feel the same way…and I have no doubt that Ethan will find a way back.”

“Yeah I’m sure he will. So I guess this means we’re dating, huh?”

“If that’s what you want, dearest.”

“Actually, I was kinda thinking of a forever thing,” she replied nuzzling his neck.

“I like the sound of that,” he said, before kissing her senseless.

Ethan surveyed his surroundings. Wherever the witch had sent him looked similar to Sunnydale, but there was no sign of human life. The sun finished setting as he stated walking down the street. Two people wearing black appeared on the horizon. Maybe they could direct him to a shop where he could get ingredients to perform a spell to get home. As they approached he thought they looked familiar.

“Do you know the way to San Jose?” he shouted. ‘What was that?’ he thought. ‘That wasn’t what I was going to say. The spell! That blasted witch cursed me with my own spell.’

He started mentally swearing at the red headed witch when the couple finally reached him.

“What do we have here, an early snack,” the voice was familiar.

Ethan looked into the faces of the boy and the witch. But it wasn’t possible, he wasn’t in Sunnydale, was he? They were both dressed in leather, the witch looking especially hot.

“I am the Eggman, I am the Walrus,” he stammered.

“This human is making no sense at all,” the boy said.

“Bored now,” the witch replied.

They vamped out and lunged at Ethan. He screamed in agony as their fangs sank into his neck.

Lyrics used, in order of appearance (some altered to fit situation)

Beautiful Day-U2, Gonna Wash that Man-South Pacific, Smooth Operator- Sade, Give Me One Reason-Tracy Chapman, What’s Going on?-4 Non Blondes, Help- The Beatles, It’s a Kind of Magic-Queen, End of the World-REM, Help, Still haven’t found (what I’m looking for)-U2, Elvis, Wizard of Oz, Witchy Woman-Eagles, Pretty Woman-Roy Orbison, Secret Agent Man- Johnny Rivers, Wizard of Oz, Werewolves of London- Warren Zevon, Macho Men-Village People, Barracuda- Heart, Crazy-Patsy Cline, Always on My Mind-Willie Nelson, Goodbye to You-Michelle Branch, American Woman-The Guess Who, Layla-Eric Clapton, Can’t Stop This Thing We Started-Bryan Adams, We Can Work it Out-Beatles, Invincible-Pat Benetar, Magic Man-Heart, Hotel California-Eagles, Desperado-Eagles. Do You know the Way to San Jose-Dionne Warwick; I am the Walrus-Beatles.