Songs of the Heart

B/G (what else?)

FRT

Summary: Listening to songs make Giles and Buffy act on their true feelings.

Spoilers: Everything, about six months after Chosen

Disclaimer: Joss and everyone else own them; I’m just borrowing for fun. I do not own the songs either.

<Song lyrics>

Part One: Have you really ever loved a woman? Giles POV

Dedicated to Gileswench and Koala for reading my rants and responding with encouragement and understanding of the muse.

Giles stretched his legs in front of him, thankful the Council’s jets had not been destroyed. Flying on a private plane with all the legroom he desired more than made up for all the traveling he was doing. He was corralling Watchers and well they weren’t Potentials any more were they? The girls were now Slayers, thanks to Willow and to Buffy’s mysterious axe.

Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He’d been globetrotting for months now, only occasionally stopping to think about the events that led to the destruction of Sunnydale. He would really rather not dwell on one person in particular, Buffy. Leading up to the end, there had been the massive fight about Spike and the role he played. Something she’d ended up being right about. After they’d stared at the hole that had been their home, they’d driven the bus to the nearest hospital. The injured were taken care of, everyone else housed in a nearby hotel thanks to Council money.

Giles was head of the Council now. As the most senior Watcher left alive he was in charge of reorganizing. He’d called in favors from all over, even asking Wesley to help. He’d tried to approach Buffy, but there’s been so much anger at first. Finally they’d talked some, agreeing to let most of the past go, to move on for the sake of all the new Slayers in the world.

He hadn’t told Buffy about his position, especially given her history with the Council. Instead he mentioned helping with the reorganization and rounding up Slayers. She’d agreed to help in her own way, and they’d parted. He knew Faith and Wood had gone to Cleveland with some of the girls. Dawn had gone to her father, Andrew has disappeared. Willow was in England with the coven and he wasn’t sure of Xander’s whereabouts. Giles mourned the loss of so many of the girls, of brave Anya, even Spike. He’d heard a rumor that Spike had come back but wouldn’t lay credence to it unless he saw the vampire face to face. So he relaxed in his seat, thinking of the one thing he’d tried to avoid, Buffy.

He’d loved her for so long, the love changing from that of a Watcher for a Slayer to that of a man for a woman. His love was the reason he’d stayed. The reason he’d left. The reason he’d been so angry at her choices. They’d talked about that, Buffy showing glimpses of her old self, teasing and flirting. It had given him a spark of hope, something to hold onto during the long nights.

He dwelt momentarily on the future. How would they act? What would they say? Could they repair the damage and at least be friends again? Giles didn’t have the answers. All he had was a note from the Council to come back to England. There was something to organize or correct or be dealt with in person. He was being met at the airport by someone they were sending. Strange though that they were meeting in a coffee shop rather than the gate, but he didn’t give it a second thought. Instead he pulled out a small bag he’d been carrying since the start of his trip. It was full of CDs, a wide range of music. For some reason, the Potentials (he would always think of them that way) had taken it upon themselves to educate him to modern music. They’d obviously heard too many stories from Buffy. He plucked one out at random.

Bryan Adams, an anthology. He remembered Buffy mentioning this artist several times while arguing about training music. He hoped this was better than some of that noise she had trained with. Some of the choices the Potentials had made were not bad, others were utter rubbish. He slipped the disc into the plane’s state of the art system and listened. This was the time he took for himself, a time to forget the past and ignore the future. He relaxed, rather enjoying the mix of rock songs and ballads. As the next song started, he was intrigued by the melody. He listened to the words, their meaning sinking in.

<To really love a woman

To understand her

You gotta know her deep inside

Hear every thought, see every dream

And give her wings when she wants to fly.>

That was Buffy. He knew her better than she knew herself. He knew her dream had always been for a normal life, something she had a chance for now. He had given her wings after high school, a choice they’d both regretted for a long time.

<Then when you find yourself lyin helpless in her arms

You know ya really love a woman.>

That night at the factory, the countless times he’d found himself knocked in the head, they had all helped build and strengthen his love for her.

<When you love a woman you tell her

That she’s really wanted

When you love a woman

You tell her that she’s the one

Cuz she needs somebody to tell her

That it’s gonna last forever

So tell me have you really

Really, really ever loved a woman?>

He’d never wanted to say any of those things to anyone but Buffy. It hadn’t even crossed his mind with Jenny until it was too late.

<To really love a woman

Let her hold you

Til you know how she needs to be touched,

You’ve gotta breathe her, really taste her

Til you can feel her in your blood>

She smelled of vanilla. She would taste wild and free. She had always been in his blood that was part of the Watcher/Slayer bond.

<N when you can see your unborn children in her eyes

Ya know ya really love a woman.>

They would be strong like he, have her eyes and he would love them because they were hers.

>When you love a woman

You tell her that she’s really wanted

When you love a woman

You tell her that she’s the one.

Cuz she needs somebody to tell her

That you’ll always be together

So tell me have you really

Really, really ever loved a woman?>

Buffy. Always and forever, Buffy. Would he tell her? Could he tell her? Could he risk the heartbreak?

<You got to give her some faith –hold her tight

A little tenderness- you gotta treat her right

She will be there for you, takin good care of you

Ya really gotta love your woman…Yeah>

As the guitars played, Giles knew. No matter what had happened, he loved her. Somehow they could work past the last year, they had before. When he saw her again, he would tell her. He would bare his heart and soul and hope she felt the same. As the chorus repeated, Giles was making plans for his next meeting with Buffy, when he would tell her everything.

Part Two I will remember you (Buffy’s POV)

Buffy sat in the limo messing with all the knobs and buttons. Kinda cool that the Council still had money to let her ride in style. Course she was going to meet the head honcho, so nothing but the best. She’d gotten an e-mail asking her to come to London as a favor. She had been the most recent Slayer (they were ignoring Faith) and the Council thought she would be the best person for the job. Buffy had thought what the heck, why not? She’d been bumming around Europe, helping new Slayers, checking out the sites. All thanks to money left to her by Anya of all people. The demon girl knew how to invest. She really would miss the outspoken Scooby. Buffy teared up a little.

There was a lot she would miss about Sunnydale, surprisingly. She would miss her friends; they’d all gone their separate ways. Willow had spilt with Kennedy; the relationship forged under impending doom couldn’t last peaceful times. Her best friend had returned to the coven in England to further explore her new white witchy power. Xander had disappeared to somewhere in the Far east to mourn Anya and find himself, Angel had recommended it Buffy had tracked down her wayward father and forced him to be a parent to Dawn, who didn’t mind living in Spain. Faith and Wood had taken some of the girls to watch over the Hellmouth in Cleveland. Weirdly enough it was located under the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

And then there was Giles. Buffy could never forget about Giles. They had fought so much over the last year, particularly about Spike. She’d heard through the grapevine that the vampire had been resurrected. She didn’t know how or why and she didn’t care. He was just another chapter in the badness that was her love life. She’d told him she loved him. She did in some weird way she couldn’t define, but not in the way he wanted and he’d known that. Bringing her back to Giles. He’d been right in some ways about Spike. But they had needed the vampire in the end, something Giles couldn’t deny. They’d avoided each other for a while after, but they’d put the past behind them. For the sake of the new Slayers who would need their help.

She sat impatiently as the limo navigated traffic. She didn’t want to think of Giles because if she did, she would have to admit what was in her heart. She loved him. She had since, well at least Prom maybe longer. He’d looked so handsome and sexy. But then Angel and the Mayor and the next time she’d seen him there was another woman in his life. Buffy had avoided thinking about it, guarding her heart and making the wrong choices; Parker, Riley, Spike. They’d touched on that during their last talk. They’d even fallen into the old pattern of wordless glances, joking and flirting. Enough to give her hope.

Could they have a future? She wasn’t sure. Maybe, especially now there was a world full of Slayers. Could they undo all the hurt they’d caused each other? Could they just be friends at least? She didn’t know. All she had were instructions to meet the Council head at a coffee shop in the airport; he would know who she was. Buffy though nothing of it as the limo eased onto the highway. She pressed play on the stereo and sat back to listen to her music. She wondered if this head honcho would even know who Sarah McLaughlin was.

<I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your live pass you by

Weep not for the memories.>

Her thoughts drifted to Giles. She would always remember him; he had been there for the past seven years. Okay not so much the last two, but when it counted, Giles was there.

<Remember the good times that we had>

She smiled at all the times she mocked him, like with the ritual in the desert. All the flirting and teasing.

<I let then slip away from us when things got bad.>

Angelus, Jenny, that whole year they didn’t talk about. Spike, an issue that would have to be dealt with in the future.

<How dearly I first saw you smiling in the sun

Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one.>

Giles’ smiles, all of them really. They always made her happy. But the one she would remember most fondly was the one he gave when she’d come back from running away. He hardly ever was that open anymore. Could she bring that smile back to him?

<I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories.>

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she remembered everything about Giles. The first time they met. Him throwing the sword into the Mayor. Asking him to be her Watcher again.

<I’m so tired but I can’t sleep>

Buffy really hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since the destruction of Sunnydale. She’d had too many dreams, many of them involving Giles.

<Standin on the edge of something much too deep.>

Could she really allow herself to love Giles? All the others she had loved had left.

<It’s funny how we feel inside but we cannot say a word

We are screaming in silence but oh we can’t be heard.>

God, all the wordless glances they’d exchanged had deeper meaning. Did Giles feel the same way about her?

<But I will remember you

Will you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories.>

The tears were flowing freely now. She was weeping for all her memories, good and bad. Could she let her life pass her by without knowing, without having risked?

<I’m so afraid to love, but more afraid to lose>

That’s why she’d continually pushed him away. Why she’d made all the wrong choices. They were all poor substitutes for Giles.

<Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose.>

Maybe she’d had to travel this path, make those wrong choices. All so she could see what had been in front of her all this time, Giles.

<Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night

You gave me everything, oh you gave me light.>

That defined her life very well, a darkness because she had dated two vampires. Giles had always given her the light. He’d always tried to let her have some of the normal life she’d craved since being Chosen.

<And I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories.>

As the tears slowly stopped, Buffy knew what she had to do. As the chorus repeated one last time she formed a plan. She would deal with this Council guy and demand to know where she could find Giles. She would find her Watcher and tell him she loved him, no matter what. Finally resolved, Buffy changed the CD to something more lively and smiled at her new purpose.

Part 3 At Last (aka the smoochies!)

Dedicated to Robin. She answered my request for the perfect song to fit this part. She is a goddess because I don’t know why I didn’t think of this song myself. Thanks a million!

Giles was glad he’d managed to whittle his traveling gear down to one suitcase, a carryon and his briefcase. As the throngs of people passed by him, he scanned for the coffee shop. Why on earth would anyone from the Council want to meet there? He was too tired to think. As his gaze fell on the small sign, he picked up his gear and trudged to the entrance. As he stood in the entryway, he glanced around to find his contact. His eyes settled on a familiar blond ponytail. It couldn’t…was it? The head in question turned slightly. It was; he released her name on a sigh,

“Buffy.”

She’d been sitting there for fifteen minutes, barely touching her mocha. She wanted to get this over with so she could get on with her plan. She tapped her foot to the quiet music filtering through the shop. As she turned to look around her enhanced Slayer hearing picked up her name carried on a whisper. It sounded like…it couldn’t be. She turned around. Blue eyes met green.

“Giles.”

The music seemed to swell as she got up from her stool.

<At last

My love had come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

Oh yeah yeah

At last

The skies above are blue

My heart was wrapped in clover

The night I looked at you>

They seemed to move slowly, as if in one of those big Hollywood reunion scenes. Giles dropped his bags, hi mind racing, his heart pounding. Buffy ignored her drink, her mouth dry and her blood warming.

<I found a dream that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known>

His strong arms enveloped her, crushing her against him. She lay her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Time seemed endless as they stood there. As he pulled back, Giles looked into Buffy’s eyes and smiled.

<Oh yeah yeah

You smiled, you smiled

Oh and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine….

At last.>

Their lips met, gently at first, a tender exploration of a new love. As the song faded, it turned more passionate, hunger and desire taking over. When they parted, each looked at the other in wonder.

“Buffy, I love you,” Giles blurted out.

“Well, that’s a relief cause I love you too, Giles,” she smiled.

He hugged her again. She led him back to his bags and went to help with them.

“Buffy, about this, about us…”

“Glad to know there is an us, otherwise I’d think that kiss was all for nothing,” she joked.

“Buffy, I’m serious; I want to know where you see this going.”

“I was kinda hoping for a forever thing. Marriage, kids, a house. The whole normal thing, well as normal as a Watcher and a Slayer can get.”

She nearly laughed at his look of astonishment. Instead she kissed him again. When it ended this time, he took her hand in his and held it to his heart.

“Forever it shall be,” he promised.

As they wandered towards the exit, they held hands. The past could wait until later; there was a future to be had. As the limo driver held the door open for them, she looked at him with a question.

“So you’re the Council head, huh? I have some suggestions…”

The portal closed and the white glow receded from the young witch. As she reveled in her new found power, she was glad her second attempt at accessing it had not gone kablooey. Willow smiled, happy that hey had finally found each other. And to think, all it took was a simple note, an e-mail and a coffee shop playing the right song.