Wearing Down

Zoe/Wash

FRAO

Summary: Wash wears down Zoe’s defenses

Spoilers: The entire series at least, Out of Gas specifically. Also the movie.

Disclaimers: They belong to a lot of people who are not me. No infringement is intended and no profit is being made, this is purely for fun.

Distribution: my LJ, my site, anywhere else just ask me.

Author’s notes: Missing scenes from the series. How Zoe went from not liking Wash to being married to him. Dialog from ‘Out of Gas’ written by Tim Minear.

Zoe Alleyne hated Hoban Washburne on sight.

“I don’t like him,” she pronounced.

Mal turned to her, shocked. “What?”

“Something about him bothers me,” she answered. It was the shirt. Had to be the shirt.

“What, what about him bothers you?”

Zoe shrugged it off, unsure. “It’s just…something.”

Mal went on to list all the recommendations this shen jing bing had and why it was a good thing for Serenity. Zoe just…it was the shirts. No one should have clothes that bright and still be sane. And then there was that…thing on his lip. It was all she could do not to laugh out loud. But Mal hired him anyway.

Then he brought those…toys, dinosaurs he called them, onto the bridge. He claimed one of them came from Earth that Was, but she didn’t believe him. It just proved to her how insane this ‘Wash’ was. But he knew his stuff when it came to flying the ship, she gave him that. He’d rescued them and pulled their asses out of the fire and earned his place on the crew in time.

He flirted with Kaylee outrageously. And then with Inara when she joined up. ‘Nara just took it in stride, flirting back with him harmlessly. ‘Course Mal didn’t take a likin’ to that so it didn’t happen very often. Kaylee got flustered at first, but eventually she an’ Wash got on well enough. Kinda like a brother and sister. As for herself, she gave him the cold shoulder. Zoe didn’t need a man in her life. She’d been on her own for years and could take care of herself. She was no blushing virgin either but she didn’t need a man to be satisfied.

As they continued to go out on jobs, Wash grew on her. It was the eyes, he had kind eyes. And a goofy smile that wormed its way past her defenses. She eventually favored him with a smile of her own, brief though it was. Of course, he took that as encouragement and continued to flirt with her. Zoe no longer gave him the cold shoulder, but still didn’t give him much attention. Occasionally she let him think he was getting to her. Maybe he was. It was his humor. Wash made her laugh. Maybe she started to flirt back.

Trying to resist was impossible. It was definitely the eyes. Those twinkling blue eyes and open honest face that was wearing her down. That and he’d shaved the…thing on his lip, making him look younger and more handsome. She kept telling herself she didn’t need him, but when she bunked down for the night, it felt empty and lonely.

One night, celebrating a job well done and an addition to the crew, Jayne Cobb, there was alcohol flowing freely, courtesy of Mal. Zoe was feeling particularly mellow. Everyone was in good spirits. She excused herself from the gathering.

“Where you off to?” Wash asked as he caught up with her.

“Headin’ for my bunk,” she answered, turning to face him.

“Can I join you?”

He meant it as a joke, but she was mighty lonely and she could probably justify it to herself in the morning by saying it was the drink. She nodded and held out a hand.

“Coming?”

Wash nearly tripped over his own feet to take her hand and Zoe held back a smile. His hand was callused and she shivered inwardly imagining how they’d feel on her body. She pushed open the door and went down, waiting for Wash to follow her down. She pushed the door closed and sat on the bed, unlacing her boots. She looked up to him.

“Shouldn’t you be sheddin’ those?”

“Uh, yeah,” Wash replied, hopping on one foot to remove his shoe.

They both undressed slowly, clothes strewn over the room. Zoe scooted up onto the bed and crooked a finger to Wash, appraising him as he removed the last of his clothes. He came over and lay down next to her, reaching for her. His hands felt warm and strong on her body. He moved to kiss her and she let him, letting Wash take control of the situation. He covered her body with his own, but pulled back momentarily.

“You, uh…got anything?”

Zoe looked confused before smiling and bringing Wash closer again.

“No worries, last time I was planetside I got a doc to set me up.”

Wash smiled and went back to kissing her. Zoe’s body was buzzing with energy. His hand kneaded her breasts, fingers pinching and rolling her nipples. She moaned around his mouth as his hands wandered lower, entering her and eliciting a bigger moan. Zoe reached between their bodies, guiding him into her, wrapping her legs around him and closing her eyes in pleasure.

They moved together, Wash driving her towards climax faster and better than she could have done by herself. Zoe gripped Wash’s arms, sure to leave bruises, but she doubted he would care. She dragged him into a kiss as her orgasm washed over her. He thrust into her a few more times before groaning and collapsing onto her. He rolled off her and she pulled the covers up.

“Guess I was wrong ‘bout you,” she commented finally.

“Huh?” he answered.

“Nevermind.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They continued the on and off relationship for the next few months. Zoe invited him to her bunk only when she wanted. She never went to his bunk. That would have made things too complicated. But soon he was spending more nights in her bunk than in his own. Zoe shared things with him that she never shared with anyone, even Mal.

She was falling in love with him.

Though she would never admit it to anyone, least of all Wash. It would only encourage him. She didn’t need a husband. A lover was bad enough, a husband would have been worse. A husband would be a weakness, a vulnerability that she couldn’t afford. And yet she envisioned spending the rest of her days with him. Retiring someday to raise a family.

She laughed to herself. She couldn’t picture herself as a mother or a wife.

About six months into their…thing, they stopped at Persephone for a few days to resupply and find some fares. Wash disappeared somewhere, Zoe was curious but said nothing. He came back late at night, and flirted her into her bunk. Afterwards, they lay there, just holding each other when Wash let her go and sat up. He reached for his pants, pulling something out of the pocket.

“What’s that?”

He knelt on the bed and handed over a small box. She took it hesitantly and slowly opened it. It was a ring. Gold band, small diamond. She looked up at him, sure her mouth was hanging open.

“I know we haven’t talked about this…thing between us. But I’ve been attracted to you from the first moment we met. Don’t expect you to say yes right away. But out here in the black no one knows how long you got. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you Zoe Alleyne.”

“Wash, I….” she stared at the box, at a loss for words.

Wash’s face fell.

“Too soon? I knew I shouldn’t have spent my pay on it. Wishful thinking on my part. I’ll just…,” he reached for his clothes.

Zoe put a hand on his arm. “No, just…give me some time.”

“Okay.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zoe didn’t have many friends. She got along well enough with Kaylee and Inara, but wasn’t close enough to confide in them. Ever since Wash had sprung the ring on her, she needed to talk with someone. So she went to Mal.

“Why are you telling me this, Zo? I do not need to hear this.”

He paced the bridge, hands ruffling through his hair.

“Got no one else to turn to, sir.”

Mal stopped pacing and stood in front of her. She looked up at him, waiting for his advice.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes, I do.”

Mal sighed. “Zo, I need you in top form. Havin’ a husband complicates things.”

“I know, sir.”

Mal started pacing again. Zoe rubbed her hands together, waiting. Finally Mal stopped again.

“Do I at least get to give you away?”

Zoe looked up at him with a smile.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They married on some outer planet after a job. Zoe had worn her ring for a while, but after it nearly got caught on something, Wash told her she didn’t have to. They didn’t exchange rings during the ceremony either. The Shepherd who married them said nothing, many couples couldn’t afford rings.

Mal did give Zoe away, Kaylee and Inara acting as witnesses. It was a brief ceremony, but it would stand in her mind forever. Wash was all smiles, and when they said ‘I do’, she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. When the Shepherd pronounced them Mr. and Mrs. Washburne she smiled wide and kissed Wash heartily.

There was a party afterwards lots of drinking and dancing. Mal let them stay on the planet for the rest of the week, hiring a temporary pilot. Zoe had never been happier. When Serenity landed at the end of the week, the Washburne’s had their own bunk. Zoe knew Mal was behind it, even if he’d never say anything. The crew wished them many happy years together.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Seven years was not enough. Zoe Washburne railed against the ‘verse, cursing everyone and everything in it for depriving her of her husband. Staring down at the rock bearing his name her only regret was that Shepherd Book couldn’t say the words over Wash because he was buried only a few yards away. She stood there, staring, wishing it had been her. She placed a hand on the cold, rough stone, tracing Wash’s name. She would live; for him, for their child.